Fit Who You Are?
I heard on the radio today some people have a problem with church doctrine because it does not fit them…….my question is why should it?
Now, I think that the majority of your chosen doctrine should line up with your beliefs and who you are, but not all of it. The problem is that people want to just “do them” and not conform to any system of beliefs unless it allows them to do whatever they want to do, whenever and how they want to do it. That is fine, if that is how you want to live, but don’t get angry because the doctrine does not change to fit you.
I am glad that I don’t have everything down pat and to a science… I need to have areas to grow in, as that is what deepens our faith and solidifies the doctrine within our hearts and minds.
Can an African-American person, walk into a KKK meeting and tell them that they are going to accept them. Well, they could, but the outcome might be a little different. Bottomline – it is not within the doctrine of the KKK to accept black people of any kind.
Can someone from a lower income bracket walk into a bank and demand that they extend them a loan simply on the fact that the bank has money to give? Again the answer is yes, but the likelihood of them getting a loan is zero. The bank has standards and guidelines that must be followed in order to access their resources.
With those examples in mind, here is something that really has many pondering these days….why is that people who are homosexual or transgender, go into churches today and demand that they be accepted and that the doctrine should change to fit their lifestyle?
If the doctrine changes to fit the homosexual lifestyle, then it will have to change to fit those who want to lie, cheat, and steal. It will have to change for the adulterers and the fornicators. Eventually you will have a free for all doctrine… a do what you want to do doctrine, and after all of that ….is it really a doctrine at all. Some might say that there are already liars, adulterers and cheaters in the church. Well there is, but the doctrine has not changed to support it.
Some will argue Christians are supposed to love everyone, this is TRUE, but that does not mean that Christians have to accept everything.
I understand that God is love, but God’s love is set upon a certain doctrine. It is up to you to accept that doctrine and conform to it or continue to do your own thing. It is that simple.
Peace – Helen
My Kinda Fun
I recently went to a ball game with a group of people. It was a beautiful warm sunny evening and the night offered cool breezes and a starry sky… overall it was a great night. I took pleasure in sitting down for most of the time, taking in the atmosphere and sipping on an ice cold pink lemonade. I must have talked with over 20 people while sitting there. People would stop and chat and then move on to more merriment. Occasionally someone would stop by and ask what was wrong with me, come on Wilson pep up, and I would have to cordially explain to them, that I was having a good time – nothing is wrong, everything is great. What was frustrating was that some people went so far as to label groups…the boring group…the quiet group….the fun group…. ugh really? Here’s the deal – don’t judge my fun!
Bottomline: People are just different, we are all as different as the fingerprints on our fingers and you know what….it is okay.
Trust in the By and By
There used to be a little ol’ Baptist preacher by the name of Reverend Banks. Reverend Banks would often sing a song called, Father Along. It is a beautiful song but as a youngster attending church I did not fully understand or appreciate exactly what the words to that song really meant. Since I lived some more of life I have come to know and appreciate the lyrics of this song. The words are a comfort to me on days when life just doesn’t make sense and there are no answers to comfort the worries of…..why? Ever been there? Well let me encourage you today, to cheer up my brother, my sister… live in the sunshine and know that you will understand all by and by. Now, you can make yourself crazy and sick trying to understand and find answers, and sometimes that is okay to a certain point, but after you have hit some bricks walls followed up by headaches in search of these answers, then you have to trust in the by and by. It is not easy, but there is peace in the by and by. You might still be hurting, but there is a soothing balm in the by and by. Folk might be smearing your name from one end of town to the other, but God knows the truth and by and by we will all know the truth of ourselves and each other. Cheer up! Live in the sunshine! In other words, keep hope for better days alive in your mind and know that you will understand it alllll by and by! Hallelujah!
Peace
Here are the lyrics to the song:
- Tempted and tried, we’re oft made to wonder
Why it should be thus all the day long;
While there are others living about us,
Never molested, though in the wrong.- Refrain:
Farther along we’ll know more about it,
Farther along we’ll understand why;
Cheer up, my brother, live in the sunshine,
We’ll understand it all by and by.
- Refrain:
- Sometimes I wonder why I must suffer,
Go in the rain, the cold, and the snow,
When there are many living in comfort,
Giving no heed to all I can do. - Tempted and tried, how often we question
Why we must suffer year after year,
Being accused by those of our loved ones,
E’en though we’ve walked in God’s holy fear. - Often when death has taken our loved ones,
Leaving our home so lone and so drear,
Then do we wonder why others prosper,
Living so wicked year after year. - “Faithful till death,” saith our loving Master;
Short is our time to labor and wait;
Then will our toiling seem to be nothing,
When we shall pass the heavenly gate. - Soon we will see our dear, loving Savior,
Hear the last trumpet sound through the sky;
Then we will meet those gone on before us,
Then we shall know and understand why.
Ain’t Everybody Stalkin’ Yo Behind
Do you know someone or met someone who is always claiming that someone is stalking them? Every time you turn around they are changing their number, avoiding calls or locking down their social media so tight that it rivals the security of Fort Knox? I can understand that once in a blue moon you encounter someone who is dead set on making you be part of their world, yeah, that is creepy. However…..if everyone you know is after you, then maybe the problem is you… and this is no great mystery to solve, there is only one question to ask and that is……Are closing out your relationships or are you ghosting out?
Examples of closing out:
- This is not a relationship that I would like to pursue, because………………..
- This is over. This relationship is done and we need to go our separate ways, because………………
- You are a great person but we are not and will not ever be great together, and these are the reasons why…………………..
- I don’t want to be a relationship with you because…………………….
Notice how reasons are given? People deserve to know why you are ending a relationship with them. They have invested their time and emotions into you and the kindest thing that you can do is tell them why you are dismissing yourself and not leave them to wonder. Furthermore, you should be prepared to give those honest reasons and stand behind them 100% because most likely there will be some discussion which is a healthy, normal, adult thing to do but in the midst of all of that, if you are serious about leaving you will need to stand firm.
Examples of ghosting out:
- Avoiding or not returning phone calls
- Not showing up for planned events or pretending that you forgot
- Not returning texts or emails
- Denying that you ever spent time or knew that person (yes, this does happen!!!!)
- Saying that the romantic relationship that you were in was nothing more than friendship
To my ghosters….You never know what it takes for someone to open up and allow someone into their world, their hearts, or even their thoughts… for some it takes a lot and when people treat that like it is nothing, it can rattle and shake your world and most people will want some answers but the problem is that folks just disappear…. like a ghost.
This could go on and on, but for now, please know that everyone is not a stalker, some people just want answers and I hope that you find it in your heart to provide closure to those who you brought into your world and who trusted you to be part of theirs.
Peace – Helen
Right Side of the Road
Just a word of encouragement today….please do not allow broken people to break you. I have lived with some heartaches and disappointments, and at one point that pain was pushing me into places that I was not designed or destined to be in. The devil will make a fool out of you, but God is a keeper for those who want to be kept.
It was either my mother or father that once told me that no matter what you do…stay on the right side of the road. That is what I am telling you today– stay on the right side of the road This is a road that I have walked for a long time and recently I thought that the right side was not leading me to where I want to be. Let me tell you right now that the left side of the road and all of the rabbit trails that leads from it – may look appealing and may seem to answer all of the questions of your heart, but there is a scripture in the Bible that says, “There is a way that appears to be right, but in the end it leads to death.” – Proverbs 14:12. Don’t allow what God has purposed for your life to be devoured by your lack of trust in God and all that he has for you.
Too often people think that you miss out or you suffer too much when you try to do the right thing. Well, the right side of the road is not a picnic, but there is freedom in good clean living. As you walk on the right side of road, you will cry sometimes, you lose friends, folks will talk about you, folks will lie on you, you may have to date yourself, you will be lonely….but I would rather be lonely than to be a feast for the world.
This is not popular, I know. We are trained to make Christianity appear to super positive and you should never have any problems otherwise you are not doing your Christianity right lol, weird but true. I don’t want to set anyone up for disappointment, it does rain on the right side of the road, but the sun is always shining somewhere and it will shine on you again too.
Don’t allow what broke you…..to break you.
Peace- Helen
Buffet Dating
I enjoyed a conversation the other day with a Christian colleague on dating. While we differ on approaches, we do agree on one thing….dating is an important part of discovering things about yourself and being in tuned with God on choosing a suitable and appropriate mate. Our disagreement came with the approach to dating. She believes in more of a buffet style approach with dating several people at one time, while I tend to have key items that I look for first and test the compatibility by spending time together, one person at a time, maybe two.
She thinks that my style of dating cuts off your universal abundance to all the possibilities. Well I can understand how someone might think that way. I am not even saying that buffet dating is wrong, but there needs to be some level of sensitivity involved in the process. The important thing is that we cannot forget that those “possibilities” are people, they have emotions, feelings, and hearts that they have to deal with long after those gregarious buffeters have moved on to what they consider to be greener grass.
I have been on the receiving end of a buffet dater and let me tell you that it was not a pleasant experience. Actually it was a heart wrenching roller coaster of up and down disappointments. He would talk about building a future together and having kids, and then emotionally retreat for days and even weeks at a time. Then after a while I would hear that he was dating someone else…..and I was supposed to be okay with the fact that he played with the very hopes within my heart that I had toward him? I was not okay, and I wish at some point he would have understood how “not okay” his actions made me – but that is another lesson learned —that you must always self-care your own heart.
Bottomline: If you are buffet dater, then make sure that everyone that you are involved with knows that you date many people at one time. And please, at no point in time should you talk about a future together with any of these people that you are dating unless you are sure that you are willing to work toward a future with that person. While you are exploring the “possibilities” of a mate, again, be sure to be sensitive to the fact that those “possibilities” have feelings and emotions that you need to be considered just as much as yours.
In other words….don’t be an emotional terrorist.
Helen
Communicate
DO NOT under estimate the devil. It is amazing what the adversary can accomplish when people don’t communicate, clarify, and seek understanding.
Slow Fade
Think for a minute – what is slowly fading you today? Drugs, sex, lying, stealing, food (yes, food ), pornography, countless empty relationships, jealousy…..?
What is stealing your victory in your Christian walk today? We allll have something and part of healing is being honest with yourself. In order to get right, you have got to be real!
Remember, people never crumble in a day…..
Make It Count
Love, family, friends, opportunities, and time are too often taken for granted.
Today is a day that we will never see again…..make it count for good.
Helen