The destination is not the most important thing- it is what you glean from the paths along the way that makes all the difference. Ponder well, my friends…..
I find it hard to believe that a man could love and respect a woman who he allows, expects, or thinks should shoulder the burden of caring for him. Call me old fashioned, but men work, be it cleaning a toilet or holding down a multi-million dollar company. There are exceptions to this rule of course, such as in the terms of the man being disabled. However, I have a friend whose long time boyfriend claims to be disabled but every time she turns around he is wanting to have sex with her for hours at a time…..um….not trying to be insensitive here, but is that disabled? She shared this with me, but became incensed when I told her that if he could have sex like that then he could find some type of job to help with their household.
I think this goes back to deciding what kind of woman you want to be. Me…..I know how to do bad all by myself, I know how to take care of business and can get the job done, however, if I am joining my life with someone else, then there are some things that will be a give and take. While I can take out the trash, this is a chore that he can do. If he hates washing dishes or cleaning the microwave….hey baby – I got you on that.
Just like fingerprints, no two relationships are a like, but relationships do require work and requires two people working together in a way that they both feel valued, cared for, and accommodated.
I was in the elevator today with a woman who was talking on the phone. She said, “Honey, I am not wearing green. Are you going to pinch my booty?” My ears perked up to listen more intently. She continued talking and giggling at the same time, “We are going to do what? Oh, baby, I know exactly where your leprechaun is, I will see you at six, love you”.
By then I was smiling from ear to ear and I glanced over at her. She looked at me, blushed and said, “My husband…..” and she just beams this huge smile and dashes off the elevator.
Have you ever been in a room with just a few people, but the room felt absolutely crowded. I recently experienced this and it was the oddest thing. Some people are just….they are just crowded, and I am never one to stand in line.
It is so odd when you arrive at the point when you realize that you don’t have any more tears or emotions to offer a situation. You stand at the junction when one way is keep trying and to the right is a junction to let things go. My heart, my emotions, and the passion that I have for those I love are the best gifts within me and when those are gone….let them be gone too otherwise I am half stepping on love and that just isn’t me. Reciprocation counts for a lot, and when you don’t have that it turns into a hunt and chase, but you are not a cat or a mouse. Just let it go. Taking a right and driving on…….
If you wrecked a car, you would fixed it. If you did some damage to a wall you would patch it up. If you spilled something on the floor you would make the floor dry and safe again. When it comes to people, we just plow through their lives, through their hearts and we just stand there and judge the damage….wow she/he got fat, oh my that person is so defensive….but you never stop and think about how you contributed to the damage of that person.
We leave footprints in the lives of others, make sure that they are good ones. Especially in the lives of those people who trust you to be in their lives.
I recently saw on Facebook a video of a wedding that took forever. Just the march alone could have been 20, 30 minutes. The groom walked down the aisle to his song, swaying and bopping to the beat. Then, the groomsmen joined in the soul train groove and danced and rocked their way down the aisle. After that the rest of the groomsmen and bridesmaids, pair by pair, waltz, rocked, swayed, two-stepped, gangsta leaned down the aisle. Just when I thought, that surely the bride would be next, nope…..still dancing this thing out.
First, I am glad to see that they were getting married. That in it’s self seems to be something of the past these days. At the same time, it is my sincere hope that they put as much into making their marriage a healthy and successful union as they did with the act of getting married.
I have toggled over the years with what type of wedding I would like to have. Of course, 50% of that answers depends on my groom. After seeing this wedding, I would gladly take a simple, very meaningful candlelit ceremony and an elegant dinner for family and close friends after our vows or love and devotion and then off to the honeymoooooooon, oh yes!!!! woo hoo….okay I will calm down. Simma, simma down now.
With that, I am sure that I could go back to the video, right where I left off, watch it for a few more minutes and still, never see…..the bride. Good Gracious!!!! lol
To each his own though. Every wedding, every relationship is like a fingerprint, no two are the same but all should bear the mark of genuine love and devotion.
Peacefully single, but looking forward to that special day.
I was listening to all of the Valentine’s Day stories and messages on the way into work this morning. Some were sad, some were absolutely laughable, and others made me wonder does that kind of love really exist outside of a radio call-in show. Somehow my mind wondered down the path of my absolute worst Valentine’s Day….ever. Did I say, ever? I mean, ever. Okay, okay you get the point. Back when I was in my early twenties I was dating a guy who I thought was the end all be all to what I could ever want in a man. Oh my living Jesus….to be young and dumb. Anyway, it was Valentine’s Day and he thought that he would do something special for me by treating me to a day in the city. It was to be a day of shopping, dining, and spending quality time together, or so I thought. He was a jerk the entire day. He had the attitude like he had to spend the day with me. I did not ask him for this, it was his idea!!! He was nice, then he was a jerk, then he was dismissive, then he was sweet again. A roller coaster of emotions that quite honestly was making me sick. As the day the went by, I really just wanted to be home, away from him. On our way back from the city it was a quiet ride until he started pressuring me to stay the night with him. He knew from the start that sex was not going to be a component in our relationship, but there he went with his sweet nothings telling me how he could make me feel. Long story short on that, the evening ended up with him dropping me off at home, he called me later to tell me that he tore up my Valentine card and gave my gift to a neighbor and then hung up on me, and to add to the compounding lists of insults… to top the evening off real right, he called me again even later in the evening and informed me that he was at the nudie bar. With that, it was my turn to hang up the phone and I peacefully went to sleep knowing that this man was crazy. It was months before we talked again and by that time he was living with someone.
I know it sounds odd considering how our relationship ended, I loved that man, I mean I really loved him at one point, but something never really set quite right when we were together, but the heart wants what it wants. When times were good, they were really good, but the bad times became increasingly bad, frequent, and thus the Valentine Day fiasco, ended it all. I was always too much of this and not enough of that. In hindsight, he was so busy trying to mold me that he never really took the time to get to know who I was and I was too busy trying to show him who I was and overlooked the fact that he didn’t even care.
As I flashed back to that time in my life, now I can only identify why this did not work out as God’s protection over me and I thank Him for that unanswered prayer.
It is Valentine’s Day, I have no Valentine, no one sent me flowers or candies… BUT, my good friend – I have a grateful and peaceful heart and faith in God that He has my earthly love in mind and he is preparing us both for each other.
All of the hoopla over Valentine’s Day reminds me of why I don’t really like it. Don’t get me wrong though, I would not turn down flowers or candy…lol. A friend told me just a few days ago that I love too hard….well maybe I do, because I think that when you love someone Valentine’s Day should be everyday. Valentine’s Day is on Monday when I ask you how I can help you during the week with tasks or honey-dos. Valentine’s Day is Tuesday when I leave a love note in your briefcase. It is on Wednesday when I cook you a big weekend style breakfast before you head off to work. Valentine’s Day is Thursday when I have the shower running hot and your favorite 100% cotton T and bottoms laid out for you on the bed. Valentine’s Day is on Friday when I massage your shoulders after a hard days work. Valentine’s Day is on Saturday when we go our separate ways to run errands and visit with friends and family, but make plans for a romantic Saturday evening, just the two of us. Valentine’s Day is on Sunday when we serve the Lord in worship service together.
One day a year is not good enough to express an everyday kind of love. And, although the thought is sweet with candies and flowers, and jewelry, sometimes it is not the stuff, but rather the things are done – the things that say, I support you, I am here, I love you….
Have you ever ran into someone from your past, someone whom you cared deeply for, but things just never fell into place? When you see them you want to hug them and love on them like old times, but the time is now- the gap in time was filled with unanswered questions, calls and texts. The gap was filled with battles of self-doubt coupled with the anger of not knowing the when, the how’s and the…. why it is that you disappeared. It is funny because when you love someone, when you truly love someone, none of that seems to matter until your logic kicks in and says that the same thing just might happen again. So now, you are frozen between wanting to shower them with every ounce of your heart and keeping a safe distance so that the void will not sting so much should that person leave again. Pondering…….
