The destination is not the most important thing- it is what you glean from the paths along the way that makes all the difference. Ponder well, my friends…..
It is assumptive and almost cruel to judge how someone worships. First of all worship is not limited to a sanctuary on Sunday morning, worship is what you do with your life and how you live from day to day. To tell someone how they should or are expected to worship is highly offensive, well at least to me. There are times that I worship quietly in thought and thankfulness, other times I sound like I am cheering at the Super Bowl, lol. Neither is wrong. Both are totally and completely appropriate so long as the worship is sincere and from the heart. Throughout the years I have heard worship leaders berate and demean people in the congregation because they were not actively worshiping like they were. I had a friend come as guest to a conference before but left because the worship leader singled her out for not raising her hands! She was humiliated and just left. When I talked with her later she told me that she was there because she wanted to learn who God is and that she could not worship a God that she really didn’t know. How frustrating…..
People enter those church doors with all types of reasons, experiences, and levels in God. It should never be expected for someone to worship according to where you are in God or how you know Him, but rather people should be exposed to who God is through the light that shines within you, through the teaching of His Word, and through a genuine worship experience that draws people into thinking about God at the level in which they currently are, this is tedious, but necessary if we are to help people continue their journey with God and know who He is for themselves and to worship Him in truth rather than out of the act of emotionalism.
I am always amused at the sneaky ways the tongue is used. How can someone give a compliment and throw shade at the same time? I don’t even think that it is shade but more of a perpetuation of what they would like others to continue to think about you while they play the victimized peacemaker. Oh, and it is an Oscar winning performance worthy of a standing ovation….and the “world” will provide one time and time again, but God knows different.
Someone times people will take what you have done in the past and continue to use that to smear who you are now to make themselves look good. For example, there is a beast that sits on my tongue and at one point in my life, when provoked, that beast would run wild and tell you off in a heartbeat. Time, wisdom, and the good Lord above have tamed that beast and I don’t handle things like I used to, but that does not stop some special people in my life from constantly making sly remarks, implying that I haven’t changed, or making pedestal posts about who they pretend to be.
I am learning that you have to rest in what God knows about you, people and situations. You can’t chase down lies and the more you continue to try to explain and defend yourself the worse things may sometimes become. You have to allow God to be your defender and rest in the fact that God knows even if everyone else believes a lie.
Scriptures:
Psalm 12:2-3
They speak falsehood to one another; With flattering lips and with a double heart they speak. May the LORD cut off all flattering lips, The tongue that speaks great things;
Psalm 5:9
Verse Concepts
There is nothing reliable in what they say; Their inward part is destruction itself Their throat is an open grave; They flatter with their tongue.
Psalm 55:20-21
He has put forth his hands against those who were at peace with him; He has violated his covenant. His speech was smoother than butter, But his heart was war; His words were softer than oil, Yet they were drawn swords.
Psalm 62:4
Verse Concepts
They have counseled only to thrust him down from his high position; They delight in falsehood; They bless with their mouth, But inwardly they curse. Selah.
Pondering…. which is worse to believe in God and live a life that is contrary to His Word OR to be an atheist?
I am part of a leadership group that meets periodically throughout the month. I usually attend no more than twice, due to my schedule, but I sincerely enjoy the people that are there and the things that we learn and share. As usual, with people come problems, right?
There is a devout Christian in the group who absolutely cannot stand the atheist, BUT she is almost best friends with another person who believes in God, goes to church but does not live and most importantly doesn’t even seem to try to live a Christian lifestyle.
Now me, I can tolerate the semi – Christian lady and her goody two shoes attitude, but I really enjoy interacting with the atheist. She just a down to earth caring type of a soul who respects others and is devoted to her husband and family.
Early on in the group, the devout Christian came up to me after the group and said, “you know she doesn’t believe in God, I just thought you should know, because I want nothing to with her”. I was offended by her holier than NOT attitude and I responded by saying, “Do you think Jesus would agree with you on that or do you have a light to shine in darkness?” She looked at me with almost a blank stare and said – she doesn’t believe in God and walked way.
What is my point? I don’t have one. I guess I am just sick and tired of people in their little church cliques….all of them wearing a cross, but not bearing the cross of Christ. I am not saying that I have perfected this either, I struggle in my own thoughts, but how can Christians season the world with the love of Christ if they refuse to leave their salt shakers?
Some believe that the most powerful word in any language is the word “love”. I would agree, but, there is another word that is just as powerful. This word can stop tears, clear confusion, help to heal a broken heart…..this word is so powerful that I bet it could stop wars, but instead lands become militarized, blood is shed and the destinies of men and women are halted. Too many people have had to find a way to fight through life without this word ever being uttered to them, they had to fight to get to their place of being healed without an explanation that should come with this word to relieve the “what if’s” and the “what could I have done differently’ that people torment themselves with….the word that I am referring to is “sorry”.
The word “sorry” is a gift, do you hear me….it is a gift that can make someone look less like a jerk or a mean girl and can start someone’s heart to beat again. If you owe a sorry to someone, darn it -say it and if you have the courage, explain what that sorry means. If you are waiting to hear, sorry, don’t put your life on hold waiting for it. If you never hear that word again in your life, healing will happen for you and you just might be little stronger for it – just don’t drive yourself crazy with those “what ifs”. If sorry does come your way, be sure to accept it with honesty and above all accept it with grace.
I heard this song by Adele on my way home last night, it is fabulous.
Lyrics:
Hello, it’s me. I was wondering if after all these years you would like to meet? To go over everything, they say that time is supposed to heal ya, but I haven’t done much healing…….I must have called a thousand times to tell you that I’m sorry for everything that I’ve done……at least I can say that I tried to tell you I’m sorry for breaking your heart.
I have a friend who is constantly falling in love all the time. Every other day this woman is in love with someone new, geesh. Her explanation every time is that she just fell in love. It is maddening.
I don’t fall in love. I am never that careless with my heart. If I love you, then I have made that decision to release a wall in my heart and paint that a shade of you. If I love you, then I have chosen to love you, there is no accident and no falling. That means that I have seen some good and I have even seen some bad parts of you and still I have chosen to love….you.
Some might say that if you choose to love, then you can choose not to love. Well, that part is not so easy. Love is not a light switch, instead it entwines within the fabric of your soul, love becomes part of who you are and once it is part of who you are, you are never the same again. Sometimes when loving someone does not work out the way you had hoped, it is difficult and it takes time and commitment to yourself to move past that love… to paint your heart a different color and start anew….and again, you are choosing to love.
I sat and watched a wedding from my office window this weekend. It was not a large wedding with tons of decorations, people, or flowers, but rather very quaint and intimate with just a small group of witnesses and the bridal party. Slowly the wedding party slowly march together and joined the groom at the front. Then he waited, his eyes focused toward the distance looking intently for his bride. I started to get nervous for this groom…. where is the bride? But….he waited patiently, he waited peacefully….he waited and waited.
Then finally she came out and came forth and stood at the end of the aisle. I could almost feel the energy that was connecting them. It was truly indeed a beautiful moment, when I saw him exhale and smile one of the biggest loving smiles I could ever long to see for myself. Before she moved a long wispy curl fell down and a lady rushed right to her side and pinned it up. Now…..she is ready!
As I watched this bride, take each careful step toward her groom, toward her good morning, toward her goodnight, toward her I love you, toward her forever earthly love – I pondered…….
I sat there and watched this union solidify before God and man. I continued to watch as they walked arm and arm after the ceremony across a windswept field so close and in tune with one another… and I began to hum the song that Dan Fogelberg sang so beautifully called, Make Love Stay.
How will they make love stay? Will he always be so patient in waiting or her as he did today? Will the corners of his mouth turn up to the smile that he smiled when he first saw his bride at the end of the aisle? Will she always take the time to look her best for him….pinning up that fallen strand?
If we could capture every moment, thought, feelings… if we could bottle the love and hope for forever that is expressed and felt on the wedding day…there would be no question on how to make love stay. Since there is no bottle labeled “Wedding Day”, then marriage will hopefully be a masterful journey of love, evolving love, forgiveness, hope, understanding, joy, memories, support…..now that is how you make love stay.
Make Love Stay Lyrics by Dane Fogelberg:
Now that we love Now that the lonely nights are over How do we make love stay? Now that we know The fire can burn bright or merely smolder How do we keep it from dying away?
King James Bible Proverbs 18:22 Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD.
The scripture says findeth a “wife”, it did not say, he that findeth the woman who will become his wife, she is already a wife. Wow….so what does this mean? This means that if you desire to be married and are faithfully praying for a husband then you should already be a wife. Now, this does not mean that you go down to the local Wal-Mart and find yourself a pretty little lacey thing to put on for your boo. I most certainly do not mean that! Sex is certainly a wonderful and sacred part of marriage but what you have to remember is that after the honeymoon, after you kiss each other good morning and start out on a new day, there are bills to pay, cars to maintain, schedules to coincide, there are considerations for each other that may be an inconvenience to you, yep, you just may have to sacrifice! Okay, it is great to be able to throw down in the bedroom and have him crave you like an afternoon snack, but you have to be wife MINDED too!!!
Every marriage is like a fingerprint. It is different and unique in it’s own way. Sometimes in a marriage the roles are reversed and some marriages are still very traditional. There is nothing wrong with either as long as you and your spouse both agree. It doesn’t hurt now to start thinking about what type of wife you want to be. Then you can eventually couple that with the expectations of your husband when you get married. The bottom line is that you need to bring something to the table, more than some hips and thighs. After all you can’t spend your lives butt naked in the bedroom getting busy 24/7! smh….
So what is already being a bride about? For example, a nursing student goes through four years of nursing school, but they are not technically considered a practicing nurse until they have taken their Boards and passed all sorts of tests and certifications. The college would not stick a student in a hospital room to care for a patient with out having prepared then to do so. Same goes for you, the unmarried wife, God is allowing you this time of singleness to prepare. Don’t use this time to sulk about being single or to make poor decisions in dating that will affect you down the line. Now is the time to gather or fine tune your skill sets, and to become the best possible version of you before walking down that aisle.
We are going to dive into this some more, but here are some questions that you need to ask yourself for now:
-Physically – What are you doing physically to be ready for your husband? Are you comfortable with your body?
-What is your skill set outside of the bedroom? Okay great… you can drop it down and bring it back up , but like I said earlier unfortunately the hours spent in the bedroom are limited and then you still have to sneak in some time to sleep.
-Can you prepare a decent home cooked meal? Manage the bills?
-Can you sew a button on or tie a tie?
-Do you know how to clean a home? I am not talking about throwing stuff in a back room. I am talking about cleaning and organizing so that the two of you can live comfortably and find things.
-Do you know how to maintain a home? Cut grass, manage repairs, etc. I am not saying that you have to but if you had to at any point… could you?
-Spiritually speaking, are praying for your husband now, even before you come together? Are you praying that he is allowing God to keep him and prepare him for you? Could pray him through and be a support to him in the rough times?
-Are you prepared to be an emotional support to you husband?
-Do you have hobbies? Do you participate in groups or activities that will enrich you outside of spending time with your spouse?
The list could go on and on. In the weeks ahead we will tackle some of these keys areas with more blogs and even guest speakers, so that we all might have a better understanding of how to effectively become an unmarried wife.
Shhhh…. I hear wedding bells in the distance, but now is the time to prepare.
I think Autumn gives us a perfect example to know that change is not always a bad thing, really it can be quite beautiful and every leaf that falls in our lives will nurture the next season that has yet to dawn in our eyes…Helen
