Do you know someone or met someone who is always claiming that someone is stalking them? Every time you turn around they are changing their number, avoiding calls or locking down their social media so tight that it rivals the security of Fort Knox? I can understand that once in a blue moon you encounter someone who is dead set on making you be part of their world, yeah, that is creepy. However…..if everyone you know is after you, then maybe the problem is you… and this is no great mystery to solve, there is only one question to ask and that is……Are closing out your relationships or are you ghosting out?
Examples of closing out:
- This is not a relationship that I would like to pursue, because………………..
- This is over. This relationship is done and we need to go our separate ways, because………………
- You are a great person but we are not and will not ever be great together, and these are the reasons why…………………..
- I don’t want to be a relationship with you because…………………….
Notice how reasons are given? People deserve to know why you are ending a relationship with them. They have invested their time and emotions into you and the kindest thing that you can do is tell them why you are dismissing yourself and not leave them to wonder. Furthermore, you should be prepared to give those honest reasons and stand behind them 100% because most likely there will be some discussion which is a healthy, normal, adult thing to do but in the midst of all of that, if you are serious about leaving you will need to stand firm.
Examples of ghosting out:
- Avoiding or not returning phone calls
- Not showing up for planned events or pretending that you forgot
- Not returning texts or emails
- Denying that you ever spent time or knew that person (yes, this does happen!!!!)
- Saying that the romantic relationship that you were in was nothing more than friendship
To my ghosters….You never know what it takes for someone to open up and allow someone into their world, their hearts, or even their thoughts… for some it takes a lot and when people treat that like it is nothing, it can rattle and shake your world and most people will want some answers but the problem is that folks just disappear…. like a ghost.
This could go on and on, but for now, please know that everyone is not a stalker, some people just want answers and I hope that you find it in your heart to provide closure to those who you brought into your world and who trusted you to be part of theirs.
Peace – Helen