August 2015 - Pondering Paths

Trust in the By and By

Posted on August 25, 2015

There used to be a little ol’ Baptist preacher by the name of Reverend Banks. Reverend Banks would often sing a song called, Father Along. It is a beautiful song but as a youngster attending church I did not fully understand or appreciate exactly what the words to that song really meant. Since I lived some more of life I have come to know and appreciate the lyrics of this song. The words are a comfort to me on days when life just doesn’t make sense and there are no answers to comfort the worries of…..why? Ever been there? Well let me encourage you today, to cheer up my brother, my sister… live in the sunshine and know that you will understand all by and by. Now, you can make yourself crazy and sick trying to understand and find answers, and sometimes that is okay to a certain point, but after you have hit some bricks walls followed up by headaches in search of these answers, then you have to trust in the by and by. It is not easy, but there is peace in the by and by. You might still be hurting, but there is a soothing balm in the by and by. Folk might be smearing your name from one end of town to the other, but God knows the truth and by and by we will all know the truth of ourselves and each other. Cheer up! Live in the sunshine! In other words, keep hope for better days alive in your mind and know that you will understand it alllll by and by! Hallelujah!

Peace

Here are the lyrics to the song:

Tempted and tried, we’re oft made to wonder
Why it should be thus all the day long;
While there are others living about us,
Never molested, though in the wrong.
- Refrain:
  Farther along we’ll know more about it,
  Farther along we’ll understand why;
  Cheer up, my brother, live in the sunshine,
  We’ll understand it all by and by.
Sometimes I wonder why I must suffer,
Go in the rain, the cold, and the snow,
When there are many living in comfort,
Giving no heed to all I can do.
Tempted and tried, how often we question
Why we must suffer year after year,
Being accused by those of our loved ones,
E’en though we’ve walked in God’s holy fear.
Often when death has taken our loved ones,
Leaving our home so lone and so drear,
Then do we wonder why others prosper,
Living so wicked year after year.
“Faithful till death,” saith our loving Master;
Short is our time to labor and wait;
Then will our toiling seem to be nothing,
When we shall pass the heavenly gate.
Soon we will see our dear, loving Savior,
Hear the last trumpet sound through the sky;
Then we will meet those gone on before us,
Then we shall know and understand why.

Ain’t Everybody Stalkin’ Yo Behind

Posted on August 25, 2015

Do you know someone or met someone who is always claiming that someone is stalking them? Every time you turn around they are changing their number, avoiding calls or locking down their social media so tight that it rivals the security of Fort Knox? I can understand that once in a blue moon you encounter someone who is dead set on making you be part of their world, yeah, that is creepy. However…..if everyone you know is after you, then maybe the problem is you… and this is no great mystery to solve, there is only one question to ask and that is……Are closing out your relationships or are you ghosting out?

Examples of closing out:

This is not a relationship that I would like to pursue, because………………..
This is over. This relationship is done and we need to go our separate ways, because………………
You are a great person but we are not and will not ever be great together, and these are the reasons why…………………..
I don’t want to be a relationship with you because…………………….

Notice how reasons are given? People deserve to know why you are ending a relationship with them. They have invested their time and emotions into you and the kindest thing that you can do is tell them why you are dismissing yourself and not leave them to wonder. Furthermore, you should be prepared to give those honest reasons and stand behind them 100% because most likely there will be some discussion which is a healthy, normal, adult thing to do but in the midst of all of that, if you are serious about leaving you will need to stand firm.

Examples of ghosting out:

Avoiding or not returning phone calls
Not showing up for planned events or pretending that you forgot
Not returning texts or emails
Denying that you ever spent time or knew that person (yes, this does happen!!!!)
Saying that the romantic relationship that you were in was nothing more than friendship

To my ghosters….You never know what it takes for someone to open up and allow someone into their world, their hearts, or even their thoughts… for some it takes a lot and when people treat that like it is nothing, it can rattle and shake your world and most people will want some answers but the problem is that folks just disappear…. like a ghost.

This could go on and on, but for now, please know that everyone is not a stalker, some people just want answers and I hope that you find it in your heart to provide closure to those who you brought into your world and who trusted you to be part of theirs.

Peace – Helen