July 2015 - Pondering Paths

Right Side of the Road

Posted on July 28, 2015

Just a word of encouragement today….please do not allow broken people to break you. I have lived with some heartaches and disappointments, and at one point that pain was pushing me into places that I was not designed or destined to be in. The devil will make a fool out of you, but God is a keeper for those who want to be kept.

It was either my mother or father that once told me that no matter what you do…stay on the right side of the road. That is what I am telling you today– stay on the right side of the road This is a road that I have walked for a long time and recently I thought that the right side was not leading me to where I want to be. Let me tell you right now that the left side of the road and all of the rabbit trails that leads from it – may look appealing and may seem to answer all of the questions of your heart, but there is a scripture in the Bible that says, “There is a way that appears to be right, but in the end it leads to death.” – Proverbs 14:12. Don’t allow what God has purposed for your life to be devoured by your lack of trust in God and all that he has for you.

Too often people think that you miss out or you suffer too much when you try to do the right thing. Well, the right side of the road is not a picnic, but there is freedom in good clean living. As you walk on the right side of road, you will cry sometimes, you lose friends, folks will talk about you, folks will lie on you, you may have to date yourself, you will be lonely….but I would rather be lonely than to be a feast for the world.

This is not popular, I know. We are trained to make Christianity appear to super positive and you should never have any problems otherwise you are not doing your Christianity right lol, weird but true. I don’t want to set anyone up for disappointment, it does rain on the right side of the road, but the sun is always shining somewhere and it will shine on you again too.

Don’t allow what broke you…..to break you.

Peace- Helen

Buffet Dating

Posted on July 21, 2015

I enjoyed a conversation the other day with a Christian colleague on dating. While we differ on approaches, we do agree on one thing….dating is an important part of discovering things about yourself and being in tuned with God on choosing a suitable and appropriate mate. Our disagreement came with the approach to dating. She believes in more of a buffet style approach with dating several people at one time, while I tend to have key items that I look for first and test the compatibility by spending time together, one person at a time, maybe two.

She thinks that my style of dating cuts off your universal abundance to all the possibilities. Well I can understand how someone might think that way. I am not even saying that buffet dating is wrong, but there needs to be some level of sensitivity involved in the process. The important thing is that we cannot forget that those “possibilities” are people, they have emotions, feelings, and hearts that they have to deal with long after those gregarious buffeters have moved on to what they consider to be greener grass.

I have been on the receiving end of a buffet dater and let me tell you that it was not a pleasant experience. Actually it was a heart wrenching roller coaster of up and down disappointments. He would talk about building a future together and having kids, and then emotionally retreat for days and even weeks at a time. Then after a while I would hear that he was dating someone else…..and I was supposed to be okay with the fact that he played with the very hopes within my heart that I had toward him? I was not okay, and I wish at some point he would have understood how “not okay” his actions made me – but that is another lesson learned —that you must always self-care your own heart.

Bottomline: If you are buffet dater, then make sure that everyone that you are involved with knows that you date many people at one time. And please, at no point in time should you talk about a future together with any of these people that you are dating unless you are sure that you are willing to work toward a future with that person. While you are exploring the “possibilities” of a mate, again, be sure to be sensitive to the fact that those “possibilities” have feelings and emotions that you need to be considered just as much as yours.

In other words….don’t be an emotional terrorist.

Helen

Communicate

Posted on July 11, 2015

DO NOT under estimate the devil. It is amazing what the adversary can accomplish when people don’t communicate, clarify, and seek understanding.