Hello Readers –
Thank you for all of your support with the Pondering Paths project!! Much of the work on this project will resume in the September 2018. For now, many of the posts and work have been moved a new project that is set to be released in August 2018. This is truly an exciting time and we cannot thank you enough for pondering with us all these years. There is more to come, more ponder, more to enrich your life!!!!!
You will never find what you want or who you want as long as you keep doing the same thing. If you keep dating the same kind of women in the the same kind of way, chances are you will be back on the merry go round in no time. Give the woman a chance to open up to you, don’t gouge her for information but instead create and be a safe place where she can express herself without ridicule from you. Instead of charging out of the gates at 100 mph talking about sex and fantasies, be her fantasy and she will eventually fulfill yours.
I find it hard to believe that a man could love and respect a woman who he allows, expects, or thinks should shoulder the burden of caring for him. Call me old fashioned, but men work, be it cleaning a toilet or holding down a multi-million dollar company. There are exceptions to this rule of course, such as in the terms of the man being disabled. However, I have a friend whose long time boyfriend claims to be disabled but every time she turns around he is wanting to have sex with her for hours at a time…..um….not trying to be insensitive here, but is that disabled? She shared this with me, but became incensed when I told her that if he could have sex like that then he could find some type of job to help with their household.
I think this goes back to deciding what kind of woman you want to be. Me…..I know how to do bad all by myself, I know how to take care of business and can get the job done, however, if I am joining my life with someone else, then there are some things that will be a give and take. While I can take out the trash, this is a chore that he can do. If he hates washing dishes or cleaning the microwave….hey baby – I got you on that.
Just like fingerprints, no two relationships are a like, but relationships do require work and requires two people working together in a way that they both feel valued, cared for, and accommodated.
Peace – Helen
I can’t really express the thoughts in my head right now. That is why I love music, because it can say things that our hearts can’t. Feeling amused today……..
If a neighbor calls you for a ride home from work at 11pm do you tell them that you are sleeping and you will pick them up in the morning or do you get up and help them to get home to rest as you were resting? Even if you do give them a ride home in the morning after you have had your full night’s sleep, you are helping, but which is the greater help, which is the true heart of serving others?
You have never truly served, given, or helped until you have done so while being inconvenienced. Helping others on your own terms, is just doing what you want to do to make yourself look or feel good…..you are not doing what is needed, when it is needed to put others in a better place.
Balance service, sacrifice and self-care……..
I was in the elevator today with a woman who was talking on the phone. She said, “Honey, I am not wearing green. Are you going to pinch my booty?” My ears perked up to listen more intently. She continued talking and giggling at the same time, “We are going to do what? Oh, baby, I know exactly where your leprechaun is, I will see you at six, love you”.
By then I was smiling from ear to ear and I glanced over at her. She looked at me, blushed and said, “My husband…..” and she just beams this huge smile and dashes off the elevator.
Yet another thing to look forward to one day……
Too many people put contingencies on God. I will serve him if I get this, or I will do this if God blesses me with that. Brats. How many parents would reward their children for doing absolutely nothing? Not many, well at least not many good parents would. The same is with God. He is an awesome Father, but he is not going to just pass out blessings for disobedience. Why is it that the people who acknowledge God the least, expect the most from Him?
The words of this song spoke to me in such a grand way. It sums up how I feel about God even in the midst of tears or in the sunshine of my happiest moments, I know that God is my only Hope. Beyond what I see, beyond what I feel, He is my Everything.
Is he your everything? Even if you don’t get that job, that husband, the wife of your dreams….will He be your everything?
When the car is broken down, when the kids are sick or when illness looms at your door, is He your everything?
When times are good, when money is flowing, and the wind is at your back, do you remember who created that wind and still recognize that in the middle of abundance wealth, health, love…..that all of that is nothing without the everything-ness of God? (yes I just made a word lol)
I could go on forever, but this song is truly the anthem of my heart for this season in my life and probably for many more to come. Enjoy.
Have you ever been in a room with just a few people, but the room felt absolutely crowded. I recently experienced this and it was the oddest thing. Some people are just….they are just crowded, and I am never one to stand in line.
Peace -Helen
It is so odd when you arrive at the point when you realize that you don’t have any more tears or emotions to offer a situation. You stand at the junction when one way is keep trying and to the right is a junction to let things go. My heart, my emotions, and the passion that I have for those I love are the best gifts within me and when those are gone….let them be gone too otherwise I am half stepping on love and that just isn’t me. Reciprocation counts for a lot, and when you don’t have that it turns into a hunt and chase, but you are not a cat or a mouse. Just let it go. Taking a right and driving on…….
Helen
If you wrecked a car, you would fixed it. If you did some damage to a wall you would patch it up. If you spilled something on the floor you would make the floor dry and safe again. When it comes to people, we just plow through their lives, through their hearts and we just stand there and judge the damage….wow she/he got fat, oh my that person is so defensive….but you never stop and think about how you contributed to the damage of that person.
We leave footprints in the lives of others, make sure that they are good ones. Especially in the lives of those people who trust you to be in their lives.
Peace, Helen